Dish Jokes

Where did L Ron Hubbard store his dishes?

In the L Ron cupboard.

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What did the Middle Eastern dishwasher say when his boss asked him what he did all day at work?

Iraq the dishes in the dish rack and Iran the dishwasher

Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who?

Dishes Sean Connery.

What do you call a man doing dishes?

Single.

What do you get when you mix an octopus and a Mexican?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

What's the first thing a woman does after leaving spousal abuse therapy?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her!

What's a dish best served cold?

Air condish.

What do you get when you mix a Mexican and an octopus?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

What's the best part about buying dishes that are made in Mexico?

They wash themselves.

How does the redneck help his wife with the dishes?

He gets her Dawn.

What do you suppose Ray Rice's fiance' did when he got her home from knocking her out?

The dishes if she knows what's good for her!

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How can you tell if your wife left you?

You get laid the same amount of times but the dishes start to pile up. Hey now!

What do you call a "to-go" dish ordered from German-Italian restaurant?

Alfredosehen

What is the first thing a woman should do when she gets out of the Battered Women's Shelter?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her.

What was the rock band doing at the kitchen sink?

Moshing the dishes

How many honest intelligent caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?

Both of them.

Why is revenge a dish best served cold?

Because it's just-ice

Why do petri dishes make good conversationalists?

They're cultured.

What kind of dish does LeBron like?

anything with curry in it.

Where did the drug addict keep his food and dishes?

The potry

What's a terrible plate pun?

dish one.

Why did Helen Keller stop cleaning her dishes?

She was running out of things to read.

Whats the first thing a woman does when she gets to the battered shelter?

The dishes if she knows whats good for her.

Why is revenge a dish best served with honey?

Because honey is what you find at the end of bee trails (betrayals)

What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to?

Dishcipline This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.

What side dish do frogs like to enjoy with their hamburgers?

French Flies!

Why did God invent women?

You think he's gonna wash the dishes

How Does Sean Connery Wash His Dishes?

Like a Bosch!

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Store Jokes More Store Jokes

What do you call a store that sells terribly made Nun appeal?

The Bad Habit.

Whats the difference between a black man and Batman?

Batman can go to a store without robin.

Foil Jokes More Foil Jokes

What did the tin man say after he was ran over by a steamroller?

Curses! Foil again!"

What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller?

Curses! Foil again!

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's the one thing a black person will never steal?

Your job.

What's the last thing a Tickle-Me Elmo gets before leaving the factory?

Two test-tickles!

Mix Jokes More Mix Jokes

What do you get when you mix an elf and a scientologist?

Elrond Hubbard!

What do you get when you mix a helicopter and a rhino?

Hell if I know.

Android Jokes More Android Jokes

Why do androids go to Africa to party?

Because Botswana have fun.

What do you get when you teach Android grammar?

A droid

Iran Jokes More Iran Jokes

Why are there no Walmarts in Iran?

Because there's a JC Penny at every corner.

What did I do when I had a bomb strapped to me chest?

Iran

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What do you call it when a German hits you with a loaf of bread?

Gluten Tag And when a hippie hits you with a loaf of bread Flour power And when a lot of people do it at the same time a rye-ot

How do you make a hippopotamus float?

2 hippos and a LOT of root beer.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do you do if your bank account stops working?

Throw the guy out of the house.

Why do women like men who can work on cars?

They know how to work under the hood!