Dish Jokes

Where did L Ron Hubbard store his dishes?

In the L Ron cupboard.

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What did the Middle Eastern dishwasher say when his boss asked him what he did all day at work?

Iraq the dishes in the dish rack and Iran the dishwasher

Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who?

Dishes Sean Connery.

What do you call a man doing dishes?

Single.

What do you get when you mix an octopus and a Mexican?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

What's the first thing a woman does after leaving spousal abuse therapy?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her!

What's a dish best served cold?

Air condish.

What do you get when you mix a Mexican and an octopus?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

What's the best part about buying dishes that are made in Mexico?

They wash themselves.

How does the redneck help his wife with the dishes?

He gets her Dawn.

What do you suppose Ray Rice's fiance' did when he got her home from knocking her out?

The dishes if she knows what's good for her!

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How can you tell if your wife left you?

You get laid the same amount of times but the dishes start to pile up. Hey now!

What do you call a "to-go" dish ordered from German-Italian restaurant?

Alfredosehen

What is the first thing a woman should do when she gets out of the Battered Women's Shelter?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her.

What was the rock band doing at the kitchen sink?

Moshing the dishes

How many honest intelligent caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?

Both of them.

Why is revenge a dish best served cold?

Because it's just-ice

Why do petri dishes make good conversationalists?

They're cultured.

What kind of dish does LeBron like?

anything with curry in it.

Where did the drug addict keep his food and dishes?

The potry

What's a terrible plate pun?

dish one.

Why did Helen Keller stop cleaning her dishes?

She was running out of things to read.

Whats the first thing a woman does when she gets to the battered shelter?

The dishes if she knows whats good for her.

Why is revenge a dish best served with honey?

Because honey is what you find at the end of bee trails (betrayals)

What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to?

Dishcipline This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.

What side dish do frogs like to enjoy with their hamburgers?

French Flies!

Why did God invent women?

You think he's gonna wash the dishes

How Does Sean Connery Wash His Dishes?

Like a Bosch!

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What do you get when you mix a black and asian person?

A criminal mastermind ...

What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

A:.........

Spare Rib Jokes More Spare Rib Jokes

What do skeletons order at restaurants?

Spare ribs.

What's a skeleton's favorite dish?

Spare ribs

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Where do Chinese people find work?

On ChinkedIn of course. (I know the pun is racist but I had to share. Sorry.)

How is your job and your wife different?

I don't mind telling work the other jobs I've done

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

Why don't we wait for life on other planets to find us?

Why do we have to do all the work

How's my life?

Let's just say I'm starting a lot of sentences with "let's just say".

Petri Dish Jokes More Petri Dish Jokes

What is a bacteria's OTHER favorite dish?

The PETRI dish!

What's the difference between a petri dish and white people?

A petri dish develops a culture.

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

Which dessert did Darth Vader order in the Mexican restaurant?

Helado oscuro!

What do you call a Mexican child?

A paragraph, because he isn't yet an se.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's the last thing you want to hear right after you get done blowing Willie Nelson?

I ain't Willie Nelson."

Why do elephants have trunks ?

Because they've no pockets to put things in !

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

Where's my tractor?

Why did the banker resign?

His customers lost interest in him.