Why did Helen Keller stop cleaning her dishes?

She was running out of things to read.

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

How do you drive this thing?

Two soldiers are in a tank. One turns to the other and says "GLUGGLUGBLUGBWOOABB"

Why does Islam get angry if you criticize their religion?

Im not sure they always seem to blow things up out of proportion.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

What did the Hebrew's call it when they stopped receiving mana every morning?

mana-pause

Clean Jokes More Clean Jokes

What does the aquarium janitor use to clean?

She uses all-porpoise cleaner!

What's the Difference Between Guts and Balls?

Guts is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk meeting your wife at the door with a broom in her hand and asking her if she's still cleaning the house or going out for a ride. Balls is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk with lipstick all over your face and the scent of women's perfume all over you, meeting your wife at the door and stating, "You're next, chubby."

Dish Jokes More Dish Jokes

Whats the first thing a woman does when she gets to the battered shelter?

The dishes if she knows whats good for her.

What do you call a man doing dishes?

Single.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Why do Iraqi police officers walk in threes?

The first knows how to read the second knows how to write and the third is to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.

How can you tell the difference between a can of chicken soup and a can of tomato soup?

Read the label.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why did the nose run?

It did snot want to be late

What do you call a stampede of mexicans running away from a snake?

panic

Helen Keller Jokes More Helen Keller Jokes

Why did Helen Keller masterbate with one hand?

So she could moan with the other XD

How do you confuse Helen Keller?

You tell her to read a basketball.