How did Mister Baggins know when his neighbor had died?

He read it in the Hobbituary.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why is Santa always happy?

Because he knows where the naughty girls live. (a kid told me this one)

What do I want to do to your body?

I don't know. Identify it, I guess.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What is the point of owning a fish?

They are just furniture with the ability to die.

How many cynics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Doesn't matter. Lightbulb is going to die anyway.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

What did they call the man who knew how to read maps?

A legend

Why are so many racist jokes about black people?

Because black people can't read. Duh. I'll show myself out.

Neighbor Jokes More Neighbor Jokes

How do you convince your neighbor to share their water with you?

Try to get a long well.

What is she?

Me: A dog. Duh. Neighbor...