What did the tie say to the neck?

I think I'll just hang around.

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What's wrong with lawyer jokes?

Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes.

Who do you think the scariest POTUS was?

I'd have to say Rushmore, considering he had four heads.

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What's pink and wrinked and hangs out my Y-fronts?

My mum.

Why shouldn't happy people hang out with crustaceans?

They get crabby! Badum tsss.

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

A: Root position cords.

What did one strand of yarn say to the other?

I'm not ready to dye, I still have a few ends to tie up. "Ball up..."

Neck Jokes More Neck Jokes

Why did the Vampire's girlfriend break up with him?

Because he was pain in the neck!

How did the hipster break his neck?

He jump off the diving board before it was pool.