Neck Jokes

What do you mean he's your half son?

What do you mean what do I mean?" replied the man. He went on to explain "My son has half my genes, that makes him my half-son." The woman he was talking to decided he was crazy and without replying walked past him. She looked back and noticed his neck was red, after all it was a sunny day.

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Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long?

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because his neck is way up here! (Dad Joke)

What's black & white and can't turn around in an elevator?

A nun with a javelin through her neck.

Why do cows wear bells around their necks?

Because their horns don't work 8 year old brother just told me this joke, thought it belonged here

How do you see countries neighboring Russia?

Ukraine your neck.

What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?

A: They're both empty from the neck up.

What do ateists wear on their necks as an indication of their commitment to the atheism?

Head.

Why were the witch and wizard always kissing each other's necks?

Because they were neckromancers

Why did the Vampire's girlfriend break up with him?

Because he was pain in the neck!

Why could Frankenstein's Monster not have children?

Because his nuts were in his neck!

Why do cows wear bells around there neck?

Because there horns don't work. :)

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What do you call a lawyer up to his neck in cement?

Not enough cement EDIT: Okay thanks for pointing out that I messed up the wording but the joke is supposed to be the funny part

Why do cows have bells around their necks?

Because their horns don't work.

What do you call a hundred black men buried up to their necks in dirt?

Afroturf

How can you tell if a black guy is well hung?

You can't fit your finger between the noose and his neck.

How did the hipster break his neck?

He jump off the diving board before it was pool.

How many muscles does a chicken have in its neck?

Just enough to hold it's pecker up...

This joke may have profanity.

How can you tell the Ethiopian diplomat at a political function?

He's the one with the gold Rolex around his neck.

What's it called when a vampire kisses you goodnight?

Necking.

What do men and beer bottles have in common?

They are both empty from the neck up.

What do you want to work on today?

Well we did neck day yesterday, and the day before. "So...neck day again" You bet

Who won the animal race?

The giraffe and the aardvark were running neck and neck but the aardvark won by a nose!

What do you get if you cross a hedgehog with a giraffe ?

A long necked toothbrush !

What do you call 100 black people buried neck deep around a basketball hoop?

Afroturf

Why did the wizards wife have hickeys on her neck?

Because he was a neck-romancer....

What do you call a chicken with no neck?

A Hic. ----- wife hit me with this one today. Remove the n. E. C. And k. From chicken and it spells hic. I'm sorry Reddit.

What do you call 1000 black people buried up to their necks?

Afroturf Also, I'm not racist. I have two color tvs at home.

What do you call 100 blacks buried up to their necks?

Afroturf.

What do you have when you have a mother in law buried up to her neck in sand?

not enough sand.

What do you get it you cross a porcupine with a giraffe?

A long necked toothbrush.

Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with ?

The girl necks door.

What did the tie say to the neck?

I think I'll just hang around.

Why are giraffes such good friends?

They are always willing to stick their neck out for you.

Why is no one friends with Dracula?

Cause hes a pain in the neck.

What's the difference between a violinist and a fiddler?

How red their necks are.

Why did the bank robber go to the chiropractor?

Because he had a crook in his neck.

Why does Dracula have no friends?

Because he's a pain in the neck.

What muscle is most responsible for lateral rotation of the neck?

The gluteus maximus

What's black &amp white and can't turn around in an elevator?

A nun with a javelin through her neck.

What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?

A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Where was I conceived, dad?

Dad: Ahh *rubs back of neck* At the Bellagio in Las Vegas. -Rly Dad: Wd I lie to u, Bestwestern Broomcloset

Who's there ! Anatole ! Anatole who ?

Anatole me you're a pain in the neck !

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Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

How does Mario talk to the dead?

With a luigi board. Made this joke up about 10 years ago while trying to think of terrible laffy taffy jokes.

What did one coconut say to the other?

Oh my god a talking coconut!

Neck Romancer Jokes More Neck Romancer Jokes

Why did the wizards wife have hickeys on her neck?

Because he was a neck-romancer....

What do you call an evil wizard who gives good hickeys?

A neck romancer.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What do you mean you can't sleep?

It's so easy I could do it with my eyes close! Me: *walks away*

What do you mean, ten?

Ten years Ten months Ten-" "Nine... Eight..."

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

Why do you have a pear on your head?

He replies, "It's not a peach, it's a plum!"

What did the ninja say to the waiter when asked what to drink?

The ninja replies with "Wata!"

Horn Jokes More Horn Jokes

Why do cows wear bells around their necks?

Because their horns don't work 8 year old brother just told me this joke, thought it belonged here

What do you call a fear of horned bovines?

Aurochnophobia.

Black & White Jokes More Black & White Jokes

What's black & white and can't turn around in an elevator?

A nun with a javelin through her neck.

What's Black White And Red All Over?

A Police Shootout

Wizard Jokes More Wizard Jokes

Where do witches and wizards shop?

Voldemart.

How many wizards does it take to change a lightbulb?

Depends what you want it to change into...

Hickey Jokes More Hickey Jokes

What's your favorite "grosser than gross" joke?

Mine is hickey on a hemorrhoid.

Why did the wizards wife have hickeys on her neck?

Because he was a neck-romancer....