Why should you never trust a one armed philosophy professor?

He never mentions "on the other hand"

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why don't you ask Joseph, the carpenter?

God: Uh huge grin cos I'm banging his wife raises hand up top

How do black people tan?

Holding their hands up

Trust Jokes More Trust Jokes

Why is it so easy to trust a hypochondriac?

Because none of their plans are ill-conceived.

Why didn't you answer your home phone?

Because I'm walking the dog. Don't you trust me -Of course I trust you! Put the dog on the phone.

Mention Jokes More Mention Jokes

What do you call a man on your porch?

Mat. I neglected to mention he has no arms or legs.

What was the first mention of soccer in the bible?

When Jesus went up for the cross.