What's next, thought crimes?

CNN: If you stare at your hand for a long time it will look weird

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why are topologists on a world of their own?

They think on a whole different dimension.

What is the past tense of 'think'?

So I thought and thought and thought and eventually I picked 'thinked'.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why do the models on the catwalks always look so angry?

I would have been very happy to get paid to just walk around in fancy clothes.

Why use words you don't understand in your tweets?

It just makes you look photosynthesis.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why did the man with no hands go to the doctor?

Because he didn't feel well.

What do you call an Italian with no hands?

Mute

Stare Jokes More Stare Jokes

What do you do if the Ocean stares at you?

Sea it and Wave :3

What do you call a chicken staring intently at a piece of lettuce?

A chicken ceaser salad.

Crime Jokes More Crime Jokes

What's the difference between crime and cybercrime?

At the moment this joke.

Why's it so hard for blind people to commit crimes?

Because they can't see.

Long Time Jokes More Long Time Jokes

How many psychiatrist does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but it takes a really long time, and the lightbulb has to want to change...

What do you name a girlfriend you haven't had for a long time?

Palmela Handerson

Cnn Jokes More Cnn Jokes

What's the difference between CNN and Al-Jazeera?

CNN shows the missiles taking off and Al-Jazeera shows them landing. (Not mine, just heard it on the Jimmy Dore show) also "My favorite indie band is palestinian. I think they're really going to blow up."

How many Syrians does it take to launch a missle?

Two. One to launch it, and one to watch CNN to find out where it landed.