What did the right testlcle say to the left?

Look at this guy in the middle trying to act all hard

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What's an empty suit of armor doing on the drivers side of a car?

He went out for the knight. OK I'll leave now

Why did the duck leave his flock?

Because he wanted to be a-loone.

Middle Jokes More Middle Jokes

What does a dancing piece of land in the middle of nowhere?

Plot twisting!

What takes longer to run, first to second, or second to third?

Second to third, because there's a short stop in the middle!

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why are Werewolves such pessimists?

They refuse to look at the silver lining.

How do you react when looking in the mirror?

You cry because you shoved a cactus up your peckar.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why do bagpipers walk when they play?

They're trying to get away from the noise.

What was Carl Sagan really trying to say about the brain?

In Soviet Russia, consciousness regulates the cerebral cortex.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you call a girl who expects a guy to do everything for her, make all the first moves, and text her first every day?

SINGLE

Why was the guy from 127 Hours arrested for espionage?

He was proven guilty of providing arms to Iraq

Act Jokes More Act Jokes

What do Congressional Republicans and ISIS in Afghanistan have in common?

Their first act since arriving was to go after the elderly.

What would happen if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with a Saint Bernard?

It would drink the brandy it would carry and act like a big Gorilla!