Why shouldn't you tell a philosophy major a joke?

They don't find them Hume-erous.

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How did the farmer find his wife?

He tractor down

How many babies does it take to stop a puck?

Ask Subban from the Hans to find out

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How could they tell Amy Winehouse was dead?

No, seriously. How could they tell?

Why do sumo wrestles shave their legs?

So that you can tell them apart from feminists

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What do you call a lawyer up to his neck in cement?

Not enough cement EDIT: Okay thanks for pointing out that I messed up the wording but the joke is supposed to be the funny part

Why doesn't anyone tell jokes about Jonestown?

The punchline is too long.

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What do you call a homeless college student?

A philosophy major

Why shouldn't you tell a philosophy major a joke?

They don't find them Hume-erous.