Why shouldn't you tell a philosophy major a joke?

They don't find them Hume-erous.

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What would you find on a German fire truck?

Ladder-hosen

Why can't Vader find a steady relationship?

He keeps looking for love in Alderaan places

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When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him?

I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people......

How to do fit ten popes in a vw bug?

Tell them to take off their hats

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How many paranoids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Who wants to know? .... saw this joke in today's

Why should I submit a joke today?

Because today's April full!

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What do you call the corner of the market that specializes in philosophy?

A Nietzsche market!

How do you get someone with a doctorate in philosophy to leave your house?

Just pay for your pizza.