Why was it so easy to find the buried communist treasure after the Cold War?

Because X Marx the spot.

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What do you call a fake psychic who was found out and now shoots up in ditches?

A high medium low

Why was Heisenberg such a bad lover?

A: When he got the momentum, he couldn't find the position, and when he found the position, he couldn't muster up the momentum.

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What do you call a hundred black men buried up to their necks in dirt?

Afroturf

Why is it illegal for a person living in Virginia to be buried in Texas?

because they're still alive.

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Why do black people get hit by cars more during winter time?

Because they're easier to spot

How can you spot a racist in a crowd?

They're the ones shouting "Black Lives Matter!"

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Which three American Generals won the most during the cold war?

General Motors, General Electric, and General Dynamics.

Why did the Russians use peanuts for torture in the Cold War?

Because in Soviet Russia, Nut Cracks You!