Why was the haunted mansion self conscious?

Because it got a lot of creepy stairs. FML.

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Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

Why did the kid with muscular dystrophy want to be an astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, and a NASCAR driver when he grew up?

He had a lot of aspirations.

Where do pigs park their cars?

In porking lots.

Creepy Jokes More Creepy Jokes

Who me?

Ohhh, I'm just driving around town, painting "free candy" on the side of creepy looking vans.

Why did the creepy hipster get arrested?

because he was following people before instagram