How can you tell a lawyer is lying?

Other lawyers look interested.

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What body movements alert you that a politician is lying?

His lips are moving.

How's your nutrition?

ME: *dipping my burrito into custard* Not going to lie. It's been worse.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why do proctologists like Facebook?

It's another chance to look up old friends.

Why do priests wear underwear in the shower?

They don't like to look down on the unemployed

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why did the melon break up with her melon boyfriend?

He told her he *can't elope*.

How do you make an orphans hands bleed?

Tell them to clap until daddy gets home

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

Why did the kid with muscular dystrophy want to be an astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, and a NASCAR driver when he grew up?

He had a lot of aspirations.

Why was the lawyer home early?

Briefcase