How can you tell if someone is schizophrenic?

I'll let my friend answer that one:

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What key won't let you through any doors?

A turkey.

Why do I vape?

It's how I let off a little steam.

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

Why aren't you smiling?

my go-to answer is always "My yeast infection really is bubbling up."

What's the song that coldplay wrote for you?

Yellow. *Phil answers phone*

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How do you give a solipsist an existential crisis?

You tell me.

What can I get for you, Ma'am?

She says "Nothing, just wanted to tell you I'm vegan."

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

How much credibility is there in that whole "you can punch yourself handsome" theory?

Asking for a friend.

Why does the noble gas always cry?

Because all his friends Argon.