How can you tell that the hippie kid got laid?

Two clean fingers.

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Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What's wrong with these eggs I ordered?

Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.

What do you call a guy with no arms and not legs laying on a porch?

Matt

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did Nietzsche tell his editor when he finished writing Thus Spoke Zarathustra?

It's over, man.

What did off-center say to tilted?

I don't know either he told me to askew!"

Clean Finger Jokes More Clean Finger Jokes

How can you tell a mechanic got laid?

He has one clean finger

How do you know if a homeless man has a girlfriend?

He has two clean fingers.