How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

His lips are moving.

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

How do you know a presidential candidate is lying?

Their lips are moving.

What's the difference between a cat and a politician?

A cat will lie your face. A politician will lie your face.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you make an idiot think he's a duck?

Tell him he's a duck.

How do you know when someone is gluten free?

Don't worry, they'll tell you. "Exit stage right...."

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

Why did the lawyer refuse to take payment when defending the lead singer of U2?

Because he said he was pro Bono.

What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?

Your Honor.

Lip Jokes More Lip Jokes

How do you pick Dolly Parton's Kids out of a crowd?

They're the ones with stretch marks around their lips.

What goes oo ooo oooo?

A cow with no lips.