How do you know a presidential candidate is lying?

Their lips are moving.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know Putin's doing well this election?

He's taking over the Poles.

How do you know when a hippy chick is on the rag?

She's only wearing one sock.

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What lies on it's back a hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court ?

Annette !

Lip Jokes More Lip Jokes

What's the difference between Sugar and Sweet'N Low?

Sugar is on the lips. :-)

Why didn't Hellen Keller learn to lip-read?

The braille left her lips numb.

Presidential Candidate Jokes More Presidential Candidate Jokes

Which presidential candidate does Tom Brady support?

Whichever can reduce inflation.

Which presidential candidate is the most likely to cause cancer?

Ben Carsonogen