What's the difference between a cat and a politician?

A cat will lie your face. A politician will lie your face.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a successful bank robber and one who ends up in prison?

One's a pro, and one's a con.

What's the difference between America and yogurt?

One has culture.

Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What's yellow and lies in a pond?

Disclaimer: I don't know how well this joke will work in english. What's yellow and lies in a pond? An excevator. You don't think this is funny? Neither does the operator.

What do Volkswagen and a boy going through puberty have in common?

They both lie about their emissions.

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

Why couldn't the cat speak?

A: The dog taped his mouth.

How many cats does it take for a woman to qualify as a "crazy cat lady?

None. Just a couple of youtube cat videos.

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

Why do ghosts like going out?

So they can drink boo-ze and get sheet-faced.

Why did the dyslexic man have slime on his face?

Because I told him a good joke.

Politician Jokes More Politician Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a chemistry professor and a politician ?

Just ask them to read this word: unionized.

Why do politicians wear neckties?

To keep their foreskin from flopping over their head.