How do footballers send messages?

By referee-mail.

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Why don't vikings send e-mails?

They prefer to use Norse code.

How do bank robbers send messages?

By flee mail!

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How do really posh dogs send messages?

By predigree-mail.

What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person?

You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message.

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What does a footballer and a magician have in common ?

Both do hat tricks !

What did the footballer say when he accidentally burped during a game?

Sorry it was a freak hic!