How do footballers send messages?

By referee-mail.

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Why don't vikings send e-mails?

They prefer to use Norse code.

How does Robin hood send messages around Sherwood Forest?

By tree mail!

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How do you get a woman to stop texting you?

Reply to her message within a minute

What's the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

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Where do footballers dance?

At a football!

What did the footballer say when he accidentally burped during a game?

Sorry it was a freak hic!