How do like really laid-back types answer the phone?

Mellow.

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Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What's green and lays in a ditch while covered in cookie crumbs?

The Girl Scout that got hit by a car.

What do a load of bricks and a 300 lb woman have in common?

At some point they'll both be laid by a Mexican.

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

Why do I have to answer security questions to pay my bills?

Ohmygod please tell me there are hackers out there trying to pay my bills....

What's better, Star Wars or Star Trek?

Answer: Knowing what intimacy with another living human being feels like.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

How can you tell if someone who's having a temper tantrum is on the phone?

You get a tizzy signal!

Who Wants to be a Millionaire Me: I'm stumped. Can I phone a friend?

Host: What's your friend's name Me: Wikipedia.