How do you keep an imbecile happy all his life ?

Tell him a joke when he's a baby !

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How does a black women tell she is pregnant?

When she pulls the tampon out and the cotton is already picked.

How could you tell that the figure skater was a mathematician?

Because of the Fibonacci sequins.

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Why are redditors so bad at "getting" jokes?

this isn't even a joke... some of y'all are borderline retarded, "I don't get it" is like a given for 50 upvotes around here. If you don't get a joke, just take the L and move on to the next post....

What has two thumbs and doesn't understand jokes that require a visual component?

This guy!

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What's the difference between a baby and a politician?

Saying they are full of sh*t means 2 completely different things.

How did the Italian chef break up with his girlfriend?

Pasta la vista, baby."