How do you get a Canadian to quit smoking cigarets?

You ask him politely.

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What did the man say when he realized the boy who asked him out was an orphan?

No home oh

When asked to provide proof that he had cirrhosis, what did OP do?

OP de-livered.

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What do you call a loonie answering questions on reddit?

DollarAMA. *Only Canadians will get it, sorry.

What brand of vodka does a Canadian drink?

Grey Moose

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How does a neckbeard neurologist address a Hispanic midwife who can't quit her job?

M'doula obligada.

Why did the mountain climber quit halfway through his climb?

He really wasn't feeling up to it.