How do you persuade the US Senate to re...

What are mixed feelings?

Watching your mother-in-law backing up towards the edge of a cliff in your new BMW.

Why Cant Coffee Shops Spell Correctly?

When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, Marc, with a C. Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.

Gun Jokes More Gun Jokes

Why did Bill and Hillary send Chelsea to a private school?

A: If they sent her to a public school the secret service would be out-gunned!

How do you persuade the US Senate to regulate the laws on guns?

Put them inside a woman's body.

Senate Jokes More Senate Jokes

What did Julius Caesar ask when finding a color to paint the Senate?

Ecru, Brute "

What goes faster from 100 to 0, an asteroid hitting the Earth or this thread's upvote %?

Berni Sanders seems to have been like a bad gift: it's the thought that counts. 80% voted against him in SC, he will be destroyed tomorrow, and estimates show he won't even get half of the delegates Hillary will. Furthermore, even if he were to magically win, the House, Senate and Supreme Court would block his most drastic ideas, making it them simply "food for thought" but not actual thoughts for implementation. Thank you very much.

Regulate Jokes More Regulate Jokes

What was Carl Sagan really trying to say about the brain?

In Soviet Russia, consciousness regulates the cerebral cortex.

How do you persuade the US Senate to regulate the laws on guns?

Put them inside a woman's body.