How do you tell a chemist no?

Nitrogen Monoxide

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How do you tell a deaf person to shut up?

Here, hold this."

Where do you want to go for our anniversary?

She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen "

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Why did the chemist break his teeth?

He ate a Pb and j sandwich I'd tell you another but all the good jokes argon

What does a chemist say when he's pouring water into an acid?

Drop the base.