How do you tell a deaf person to shut up?

Here, hold this."

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What's going on?

Me: The kids gave me this *holds up Dad Is #1 mug* W: That's sweet H: Sweet They think I'm pee!

Why are children's birthday parties never held in outer space?

Because I hear that in space there is no ice-cream.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you get a blonde to marry you?

Tell her she's pregnant.

Why did Angelina tell Brad to do squats?

Because she was tired of a bottomless pitt.

Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

How does a Muslim shut a door?

Islams it.

What does it mean when a lion roars?

Shut up. The movie is about to start.

Deaf Person Jokes More Deaf Person Jokes

What's the difference between a deaf person and my wife?

I don't know.

What do you call a deaf person who can't lip read?

Anything you want!