How do you win the vegetable race?

You need to get ahead of lettuce

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Win Jokes More Win Jokes

How would America win gold medals in shooting for the Olympics?

They take their prison population and school population to Rio.

What do the NBA and the presidential election have in common?

There's only two candidates, and nobody wants either of them to win!

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What's black and white that small children no longer need worry about?

Michael Jackson

Why did Kobe Bryant go to New Jersey after he got arrested?

Because he needed one.

Lettuce Jokes More Lettuce Jokes

What sweetie?

Tell who what ! Me: Tell Taco Bell their cheese to lettuce ratio is way off..

What is called a honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone with no dressing.