How do you win the vegetable race?

You need to get ahead of lettuce

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Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What does Shrek say when he wins a game of chess?

Shrekmate.

Why'd the farmer win the lifetime achievement award?

Because he was always out standing in his field.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How amphetamine addiction is called?

Need for Speed.

How many nuclear war survivors does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. People who glow in the dark don't need lightbulbs.

Lettuce Jokes More Lettuce Jokes

What is called a honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone with no dressing.

Why do lettuce, cheese, and turkey have so many diseases?

because they're inbred