How does an Australian shave?

Rise up lights

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Light Jokes More Light Jokes

What is 32% black, 45% white... ...gets lit up and changes to blue and red at night?

Chicago.

What's the best thing to bring to your holiday party?

A Christmas tree. Because they're lit.

Rise Jokes More Rise Jokes

Why did balloon prices keep rising?

Because they had to adjust for inflation.

What happened to the Guns 'n Roses tour bus when it got a flat tire and had to be jacked up?

Its axle rose.

Australian Jokes More Australian Jokes

What's the worst thing about getting bitten by a poisonous spider?

You're probably Australian. EDIT: I mean venomous, not poisonous. I am sorry

What method does the Australian god use to part the Red Sea?

Oz Moses.