How does one robber ask another how they're doing?

How are you holding up?"

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What is the difference between a camera and a sock?

One holds photos The other holds five

Why is Man Utd's chemistry lacking?

Because they are held together by weak van den Gaal's forces.

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What's wrong with them?

his boss asks. "I just can't see myself coming to work today."

How to tell the difference between a bad, a good and an excellent accountant ?

When you ask them "2+2 is ?":

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Why'd the robber take a bath?

A: He wanted to make a clean getaway.

How do you call a robber in a suit of armor?

A thief in the knight