Robber Jokes

How do you call a robber in a suit of armor?

A thief in the knight

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Why couldn't the police arrest the robber on the second floor?

Because he took the stairs.

What's the difference between a robber and a politician?

Politicians run BEFORE they steal your money.

What did the robber with an errection say?

This is a stick-up.

Why'd the robber take a bath?

A: He wanted to make a clean getaway.

How does one robber ask another how they're doing?

How are you holding up?"

How did robbers gain entry to steal from Miley Cyrus?

They came in like a wrecking ball.

What do you call a robber who looks like David Beckham?

Bandit like Beckham

What did the cheese vendor say to the robber?

Hey! That's nacho cheese!"

Why do robbers steal money?

Me: So they can buy stuff. 4: Why don't they just steal the stuff She's a criminal mastermind.

What time is it when your watchdog lets a robber take the family silver?

Time to get a new watchdog.

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What game did the dentist play when she was a child?

Caps and robbers

Why did the robber take a bath?

So he could make a clean getaway.

Why was the robber so secure?

He was a safe robber.

What does a Browns fan say to a robber?

I hate the steelers.

What did the Asian police dog say to the robber?

Fleas!

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Second Floor Jokes More Second Floor Jokes

When did your parents divorce?

ME: No, they were hoarders, and the second floor collapsed.

Why couldn't the police arrest the robber on the second floor?

Because he took the stairs.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What if I color on you?

What if I run a truck along your back Steal your toy Throw a ball Spit food at you - My toddler, wooing the dog

What's the difference between a Southern wedding and a Southern tornado?

Nothing - either way someone's gonna lose a trailer *shamelessly stolen from Robin Williams

Wreck Jokes More Wreck Jokes

What do you get when a short bus gets in a wreck?

Mashed potatoes.

What happens to your car insurance if you don't notify them that you've wrecked a car?

I don't know, but it's not wreck-amended.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What is the similarity between tight rope walking and an old lady giving you head?

You don't want to look down.

When will you be bioavailable?

Because you are my drug and I want you in my body...

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

Why is there a flap on the back of the Navy uniform?

So the Marine have something to hold on to.

How many tourists does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Six: One to hold the bulb and five to ask for directions.

Stair Jokes More Stair Jokes

Why put a baseball bat up when you can just lay it down on a stair in the middle of the stairway?

What could go wrong " My son apparently

How do Asian's name their children?

Throw a frying pan down the stairs and listen to the sounds. *Ting tong tow*

Wreck Ball Jokes More Wreck Ball Jokes

What do you get when you cross Miley Cyrus with an alligator?

A caiman like a wrecking ball.

What's black, and breaks into houses?

A wrecking ball

Armor Jokes More Armor Jokes

How did the knight know that his armor was made in China?

He found a chink in it.

Why don't Asians make good Knights?

Because then there would be a chink in the armor.