What did the oyster say to the fish who stole it's shell?

Stop being shellfish!" *drops microphone, walks away*

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Howdo you stop a baby from running in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

Which Elizabethan sailor could stop bikes ?

Sir Francis Brake !

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What do you call a haughty criminal walking down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

What kind of mouse walks on two legs?

A: Mickey Mouse Q: What kind of duck walks on two legs A: They all do!

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

What animal is faster than a cheetah?

A cow dropped out of a helicopter.

What does a chemist say when he's pouring water into an acid?

Drop the base.

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

How do you entertain a bored pharaoh?

You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish.

What has got 8 legs and 1 eye?

2 chairs and a half of a fish.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What was the name of the meth cook who got caught stealing baked beans?

Heinzenburg

What is the difference between a thief and a church bell?

One steals from the people the other peals from the steeple.

Oyster Jokes More Oyster Jokes

What do you call an oyster who can't find another job?

A clamboni driver!

What do you call an Oyster who is stuck in traffic?

A: A PearlJam

Microphone Jokes More Microphone Jokes

How do small people call each other?

A: On microphones.

What's the difference between the 2016 presidential debates and a pen of baboons relentlessly fighting over the dead stinking corpse of a sheep?

Microphones!