What did the oyster say to the fish who stole it's shell?

Stop being shellfish!" *drops microphone, walks away*

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop a black kid from jumping on the bed?

tape velcro to the ceiling.

What did the pirate say when his wife kept asking him about the steering wheel in his pants?

Yargg! Woman! Stop asking me! You're driving me nuts!"

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What do you call an arrogant criminal walking down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

Which one is the 'in' door?

Let me show you", says the manager, and 'e walks in.

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

Whats the difference between a hippy chick and a washing machine?

When you drop a load in, it doesn't follow you around for 6 months trying to get spun. 8)

What did one plant say to another when it dropped its camera into the sea?

Photos-in-the-seas!"

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

What advice would you give to a fish?

Stay in school and keep up with current affairs.

What's the difference between a fish and an elephant?

OC) You really can't tell the difference between a fish and an elephant

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

Why are ghosts banned from the liquor store?

They would steal all the boos.

Why can't you play Uno with Mexicans?

They steal the green cards.

Oyster Jokes More Oyster Jokes

Why don't oysters give to charity?

They are shellfish.

What do you call it when an oyster takes a picture of itself?

A shell-fie

Microphone Jokes More Microphone Jokes

What's the difference between the 2016 presidential debates and a pen of baboons relentlessly fighting over the dead stinking corpse of a sheep?

Microphones!

What is your line of business?

Me mumbling: Treason stuff. Cop: Louder for the microphone. Me: Trees 'n' stuff. Gardening.