What do you call a guy that hates Christmas and steals the woman you love?

Ebenezer Scrooge-yagirl

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Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What's the difference between a black person and Christmas lights?

Nothing. They both look good hanging from trees.

What is the linguistic description of sentences like 'ho ho ho' and 'merry Christmas'?

They are both santa clauses.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, who hangs out in your pool?

Bob

What did Pythagoras say about the pyramid scheme?

He just couldn't find the guys angle!

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What's the worst thing about being a transgender?

Having the women inside of you telling you what to do.

How do you like your job testing push-up bras?

The other woman replies, "It has its perks."

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why did the SJW hate the Mexican robot?

Because it was Pablo-matic

Which band does feminists hate the most?

Cis-tem of a Down

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

When is my wife's favorite day to make love?

Tomorrow

What dog loves to take bubble baths ?

A shampoodle !

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What is the difference between the regular police and the secret service?

The secret service is the only police that gets in trouble if a black person dies. Shamelessly stolen from the correspondents' dinner.

Which birds steal soap from the bath ?

Robber ducks !

Ebenezer Scrooge Jokes More Ebenezer Scrooge Jokes

Why did Ebenezer Scrooge go to New York City?

A: To see the Grumpire State Building.

What ghost did Ebenezer Scrooge encounter when he refurnished his home?

The shadow of his former shelf.