How many fish did it take to consume my wife?

None. There are no fish under my new gazebo

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you do when your wife is blocking view of the TV?

Go to the kitchen and shorten her chain.

What's blue, standing in the kitchen?

STFU, I can paint my wife any colour I want!

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

Why was little Jimmy fishing in the well?

Because Tom had previously drowned in the well and everyone said "Tom is sleeping with the fishes."

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fish

Consume Jokes More Consume Jokes

What does a bartender give you when you need the feeling of a strong drink, but you're not allowed ton consume alcohol?

Xanax since he's a Bartender

Why don't more people cook Armenian food?

Because it can be very thyme-consuming.