How many James Pattersons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only one, but he'll just hire a ghostwriter to do it for him.

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Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many guys in IT does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to identify that the lightbulb has indeed burned out, and one to call the maintenence man to change the lightbulb.

How many protestors do you need to change a lightbulb?

Trick question. Protestors don't change anything.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

Who gets the job of writing the fortunes in the cookies?

I want that job. I could really screw with some people.

How many redditors does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to screw it in and one to take credit for it.

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What's the best way to get a Punjab in India?

Hire a cunning linguist.

What do you call a carpentry business that only hires midgets?

The Whittle Business *badum ching*