How many James Pattersons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only one, but he'll just hire a ghostwriter to do it for him.

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Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many terrorists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

none, they blew it up already.

How many SEC football players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

1. And they get 3 credits for it.

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What's your favorite racial (but not racist) joke?

How many South Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A Brazilian!

How many stoners does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, I just set the bulb down somewhere, now I can't find it. Where the hell did the bulb go?

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Why did the barracuda want to hire the clown fish's anemone?

Because the barracuda believed that "anemone of my enemy is a friend."

Why should we hire you?

Me: Well, if you hire me, I will make all of your other employees look FANTASTIC by comparison.