How many James Pattersons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only one, but he'll just hire a ghostwriter to do it for him.

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Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Zero.

How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. We are efficient and don't like humour.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many non-humorous people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One

How many teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It takes 1 to screw it in, and 99 to tweet about it.

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

What do you get when you hire an owl to babysit your kids?

A real hootenanny!

Why do donut shops not hire security?

Because Cops go there willingly. Free security and protection.