How many James Pattersons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only one, but he'll just hire a ghostwriter to do it for him.

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Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a bad joke teller?

To get to the other side!

How many Amish people does it take to change a lightbulb?

A what?

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many Ellen Paos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. The mods do that for her.

How many ameobas does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. No, two! No, four! No, eight! No, sixteen! No, thirty-two! ...

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why should we hire the chickpeas to be part of our choir?

They could hummus a song! (I was really proud of this one.)

Why did the barracuda want to hire the clown fish's anemone?

Because the barracuda believed that "anemone of my enemy is a friend."