Dyslexia
The Newport (My first joke, sorry if bad 8)
Because 8 nined 10.
Lindsay Lohan never reads the newspaper in jail, but the newspaper always reads "Lindsay Lohan in jail"
Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."
Get tested for dyslexia.
You stay up all night wondering if there is a dog.
Envelope.