What advice to cows give?

Turn the udder cheek and mooooove on!

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How do you turn a cow into a steak?

You mootilate it.

What does a Maple leaf fan do when they win the cup?

Turn off their console and go to sleep.

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What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits?

A cud thud!

Why did your sister feed money to her cow ?

Because she wanted to get rich milk.

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What advice does Jay Leno receive when sad?

Chin up pal.

What advice would you give to a fish?

Stay in school and keep up with current affairs.