What console does god use?

Praystation

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What do aliens use to buy their coffee?

starbucks

Who has one thumb and isn't allowed to use the table saw anymore?

This guy.

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Why does everything taste like chicken?

Because God is black.

What did God say to Jesus?

This lawn ain't gonna mow itself.

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What console did Nintendo make for special ed kids?

The Nintendo Wii-Tard

What do gamers who switch consoles and mathematicians have in common?

They both have problems finding x.