What did both the bomb expert and the digital clock maker say to their mother?

Look, Ma! No hands!

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What's a depressed teenagers favorite activity?

Making their wrist look like their jeans. (I'm sorry)

What's the difference between a golfball and a woman's 'G' spot?

A man will actually spend 20 minutes looking for a golfball... Alternative punchline: Man can actually hit a golfball...

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why do I only see lesbian couples holding hands?

Aren't their hands clammy enough as it is...

Why did the drill sergeant get a dishonorable discharge?

He couldn't keep his hands off his privates

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What are the Humans doing?

Alien 2: Celebrating the existence of their mothers. Alien 1: I ate my mother. Alien 2: As did I.

What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother?

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!