What did the commitment averse monster truck announcer say to his girlfriend when she asked him, "When are you going to finally ask me to marry you?

SOMEDAY ###SOMEDAY! ###SOMEDAY!!

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What did the pirate tell his littler sister when she asked if she could hold his parrot?

ISIS

Why did the wizard ask a pretty chick to throw a heavy box on him ?

Not just the hard on............ it would've made him more flexible

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Why doesn't Ed have a girlfriend?

Because Sheeran

How do you know when a guy is really in love with his girlfriend?

When he starts using condoms with other girls.

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What do you call a man that marries another man?

A minister! Courtesy of a patient.

How did Kanye West ask Kim Kardashian to marry him ??

will i marry you?"