What did the lazy suspect say to the court?

I haven't done anything to warrant a rest.

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Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

How many people from Quebec does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One: He holds the bulb and the rest of Canada revolves around him.

How many Bernie supporters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to hold the lightbulb, and the rest of the world to revolve around them

Court Jokes More Court Jokes

Why did the stoner take his wife to court?

He wanted to get joint custody.

Why won't a woman sleep with you after a date at Burger King?

Because you have to court her before you pound her.

Warrant Jokes More Warrant Jokes

Did you hear that the police have a warrant out on a midget psychic ripping people off?

It reads "Small medium at large."

What did the lazy suspect say to the court?

I haven't done anything to warrant a rest.