Court Jokes

Why was the photo acquitted in his trial at court?

Because he was framed!

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What did the lawyers say when they finished their basketball game?

Court is adjourned

What do lawyers wear to court?

Law suits!

How did he get off?

It wouldn't stand up in court

What do you call a basketball that rolls off court and deflates?

Out of bounce.

What did the lazy suspect say to the court?

I haven't done anything to warrant a rest.

What do you call it when a Spanish man goes to court for custody of his children?

Fight for your right to padre

What does a War Boy from Mad Max say when he goes to court to sign an affidavit?

WITNESS ME!"

Why was the Energizer Bunny tried in court?

He was charged with battery.

Why was the Energizer Bunny in court?

Because it was charged with battery.

Why did the tear testify in court?

Because he was an eye wetness.

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Who represents a Ghost in court?

A Paralegal.

Why was the electrolytic solution taken to court?

It was charged with a salt.

What did the tomato say to the cheese in court?

I rest my queso.

What do most people wear to court?

Law-suits

Why did the cellphone go to court?

Because it was charged with battery.

What should I do?

Me: Court her. Friend: Dude, I don't have any change...

What do you call 1 white guy surrounded by a court of black people?

The NBA.

What happened to the man with a legal fetish when he went to court for his parking ticket?

He got off on a technicality

What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?

Odor in the court!!!

Why did the stoner take his wife to court?

He wanted to get joint custody.

What food should you avoid if you don't want to go to court?

Sue-shi! I'll excuse myself.

Why are burglars such good tennis players ?

Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts !

Who's there ! Althea ! Althea who ?

Althea in court!

Why won't a woman sleep with you after a date at Burger King?

Because you have to court her before you pound her.

What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial?

Odour in court!

What did the judge say when a skunk entered the courtroom?

Answer: Odor Odor in the court!!!

What happened to the man who went to court for making deafening noises?

He lost his hearing.

Why'd the chicken cross the court?

Because he heard the ref was blowin' fowels..

What did the Japanese buck say to the doe he was courting?

OC I don't know how to put this but...I'm kind of a big deer.

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George Lucas Jokes More George Lucas Jokes

What do you call a person who continues to touch up on something that is already perfect, and thus ruining whatever it was?

George Lucas.

Which fraternity was George Lucas in during College?

Psi Phi.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

How many Unidans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Six: one to screw it in and five to cheer him on loudly while standing in front of other people's bulbs so no one can see them.

Why does Bernie always hold the podium while giving a speech?

It's tough to stand on your own when you have no spine.

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

Why was the baby put in jail?

For resisting a rest. I'll take my coat

Why is the letter 'c' afraid of the rest of the alphabet?

Because all the other letters are not c's. *** *ba dum tss*

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

What's on TV?

I said, 'Dust.' And that's how the fight started....

Why do audiophiles nerver loose a fight?

Because they're lossless.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why did they invent the shopping cart?

To teach women to walk on their hind legs.

Why do stoners carry lighters everywhere?

Because they don't have legs to walk, man.

Odor Jokes More Odor Jokes

What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?

Odor in the court!!!

What was the German Shepard's defense at his Nuremberg trial?

I was just following odors."

Roll Jokes More Roll Jokes

What's black and white and black and white and black and white and green?

A skunk rolling down a hill with a pickle in its mouth.

How do you start a black parade?

Roll a 40 down the street.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between the Oscars and the BET Awards?

Oscar winners can thank BOTH of their parents.

What's the difference between Jesus and Bono?

Jesus doesn't think he's Bono