What food should you avoid if you don't want to go to court?

Sue-shi! I'll excuse myself.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Who would want a "Semi" tattoo on their colon?

Not that there's anything wrong with that....

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on thanksgiving)

Excuse Jokes More Excuse Jokes

Who these days is hard "Is your person white?

Excuse me " "Is your person white " "I don't see skin color I just see people"

What excuse does an Ape give for abducting a pretty girl?

I can't help it - she brings out the beast in me!

Avoid Jokes More Avoid Jokes

Why did the Gorilla enlist in the ragged continental army?

To avoid the draft!

What did he tell people in order to make them avoid taking it?

Eschew! Eschew!

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

How does Frodo make his own food?

Through Frodosynthesis

Whole Foods ME: Hi CLERK: Hello ME: Do you...uh CLERK: Do we what?

ME: Do you have any...uh CLERK: Go on ME: Do you have any Half Foods

Court Jokes More Court Jokes

What did the lazy suspect say to the court?

I haven't done anything to warrant a rest.

Why won't a woman sleep with you after a date at Burger King?

Because you have to court her before you pound her.