What do a UT Austin student and a Texas A&ampM student have in common?

They both applied to UT Austin

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Why did the Republican get a sunburn?

Because the sunscreen instructed to apply liberally and he was unwilling to compromise.

Why did you apply for this job?

Me: Because being broke and homeless didn't really call out to me.

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What do a UT Austin student and a Texas A&ampM student have in common?

They both applied to UT Austin

What's the secret to a long life?

I said, "Never order vegetarian in Texas"