What do selfies make me want to do?

Shoot myself

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why don't women sleep on the left side of the bed?

Because they always want to be right.

What department do you not want to end up at in a corporation run by cannibals?

Human Resources.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What do you call shooting yourself in the face with jiz?

Homo-cide

Why are the cops shooting so many black men?

There's plenty of Mexicans to shoot too. Yeah I'm going to hell for that one.

Selfie Jokes More Selfie Jokes

Why is the iPhone 6 the coolest smart phone around?

Carry it around in your pocket for a while and it'll be on every selfie you take.

What do you call a theme park where people go to have selfies with chickens?

Pout-ry farm..