What do selfies make me want to do?

Shoot myself

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What do you call a Cloyster that wants to learn the move Rain Dance?

The clam before the storm!

Why are pilots so honest?

Keep those maintenance issues quiet. I want lies, frankly. "We're delayed because we're winning a safety award."

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Which fairy tale character would be most likely to be shot by the police?

An un-armed gingerbread man

Why did the Space Marine shoot the Tailor?

The heretic kept crossing the warp

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What do you call something that you do to your self with one hand?

A Selfie!

Why do you look surprised in all your selfies?

Didn't you know you were taking the picture