What do you call a frog in the no parking zone?

Toad

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Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs middle finger.

How do frogs die?

They kermit sucide

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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.

What are some towing related jokes i can impress my car club coworkers with?

I've already got that the frog called our car club to get toad, but that's about where my puns end.