What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower?

A widower.

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What is the similarity between tornadoes and divorces in Kentucky?

either way, someone is losing a trailer.

Who did E.coli call after it lost a fight in school?

Broccoli

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What did the man say after he forgot to pull out?

I regret nutting!!!

What do you call a man in a hole?

Phil.

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How does Microsoft count to 10?

1, 2, 3, 95, 98, ME, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.

What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?

Divorced.