What do you call a morbidly obese hippy?

Tie Dyeabetes

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What do you call a morbidly obese person who can predict the future?

A four-chin teller.

What's a similarity between obese people, and my relationships with women?

They don't work out.

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What do you call 10 Ethiopians tied together?

A raft

What did Katy Perry steal from Dr. Frankenstein's closet?

The Tie of the Igor.