What do you call a morbidly obese hippy?

Tie Dyeabetes

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What do you call a obese fortune teller?

A fortune teller, you FPHer!!!

How do you get rid of an obese demon?

You exercise it.

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What did the Irishman say about the RC car tied to his scrotum?

It drives me nuts.

What was the deal with that dude wearing a tie and an apron at brunch?

He kept writing down everything we said, he gave me the crepes.