What do you call a Psychic Compromise?

A Happy Medium. Sorry, a played around with the wording of this a lot and couldn't find anything better. Please suggest a better phrasing.

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Why do you love me?

Wife: *shrugs* Me: Why do you find me annoying Wife: *reveals six spreadsheets and a pie chart*

Which part of the Bible won't you find a black man?

The Book of Job.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess?

Because he's dead.

Why is the O in Opossum silent?

Because it's playing dead.

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How is this joke similar to a musical about a thesaurus?

Both are a play on words.

Who's there ! Armenia ! Armenia who ?

Armenia every word I say !

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What did the computer technician say to the woman about her virus infected laptop?

Ma'am, we cleaned your dirty bits and suggest getting a bigger hard drive"

Where do conspiracy theorists keep their ideas?

In a skeptic tank. (Note: I just made up this joke earlier today. I'm not 100% sure the joke is obvious feel free to suggest a better wording!)

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What do you call somebody who is content being average sized?

A happy medium.

Why did the man hit the fortune teller when she started laughing?

A: He was striking a happy medium.