What do you have if you have one fuzzy, green ball in one hand and another fuzzy, green ball in the other hand?

Kermit the Frog's undivided attention.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do you call something that you do to your self with one hand?

A Selfie!

When is an English teacher like a judge?

When she hands out long sentences.

Kermit Jokes More Kermit Jokes

What is green and slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frog's finger...

What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?

Nothing.