Kermit Jokes

Why can't Kermit and Miss Piggy count to one hundred?

Because every time they get to 69, Miss Piggy gets a frog in her throat.

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What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?

Nothing.

What are green and smell like pork?

Kermit's fingers

What's slimy, long and smells like pork?

Kermit the Frog's Finger.

What's small and green and smells like pork?

Kermit's Finger.

What did Miss Piggy say to Kermit at the end of their first date?

Nothing. She had a frog in her throat.

What's long, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermit's finger

What's green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

What's green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frog

What is green and smells like bacon?

Kermit's fingers

What's long, green, slimy and smells like pork?

Kermit the frog's finger

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What's green, slimy, and smells like bacon?

Kermit The Frog's fingers.

What's green, slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs finger (shoutout to Hesher)

What do Kermit The Frog'S fingers smell like?

Bacon.

What is long, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

What is green and slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frog's finger...

What do you call Kanye dressed as Kermit?

I don't know, but it's not Yeezy being green.

Whats long and green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs finger.

What's slimy cold long and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs finger...

Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs middle finger.

What's Slimy, cold, green, and smells like pork?

A: Kermit the Frog's Finger

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the VIII have in common?

Same middle name.

What's green, slimey and smells like pork?

Kermit's finger.

What is Green...and Smells Like Pork?

What is Green...and Smells Like Pork? Kermit the Frog's Finger!!

What's long, green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's finger.

What's Kermit the Frog's favorite song?

Whib It" by Devo.

What is Green, Slimy, and smells like Bacon?

Kermit's finger.

What's green, slimy and smells like pork?

Kermit's finger

What do you have when you have two small, green balls in your hand?

Kermit's undivided

Why does Ms. Piggy use honey and vinegar douche?

Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.

How do frogs die?

They kermit sucide

What's green and furry and smells like pig?

Kermit the Frog's finger

What do Harry Potter and Kermit the frog have in common?

Hogwarts!

What's long, green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs fingers"

Why doesnt Kermit like elephants?

They always want to play leap-frog with him.

What do Kermit the Frog and David Cameron Have in Common?

They both like to pork.

What's green and smells like ham?

Kermit the frog's finger

Why does Mrs. Piggy douche with honey?

A. Because Kermit the frog likes sweet and sour pork.

What's green, fuzzy, and stinks of pork?

Kermit the frog's finger

What do you have if you have one fuzzy, green ball in one hand and another fuzzy, green ball in the other hand?

Kermit the Frog's undivided attention.

How do frogs die ?

They kermit suidide !

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

What do you get if cross a frog with some mist ?

Kermit the Fog !

What's long green and smells like pork scratchings?

Kermit the frogs finger.

Why doesn't Kermit the Frog like elephants ?

They always want to play leap frog with him

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common?

They share the same middle name.

Why did Kermit break up with Miss Piggy?

He wasn't ready for a Kermitment.

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Whats a farmers best dating advice?

A tractor

How was your date?

She hated my poncho.

Pork Jokes More Pork Jokes

What do Spanish Canadians put on their tacos?

Pork, eh

What's green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frog

Piggy Jokes More Piggy Jokes

Why was the centipede late ?

Because he was playing "This little Piggy" with his baby brother !

What's the name of your former bank?

I said, "Piggy"

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How do you know if an Italian person is mute?

When you see he has no hands.

What do you get when you put your hand in a blender?

A hand shake.

Bacon Jokes More Bacon Jokes

What was the pig doing in the kitchen?

Bacon! Get it?

What will you have, Sir?

Bacon my day, sonny!" Sorry/notsorry - it's how my mind works

Dress Jokes More Dress Jokes

What do you call a plumb in a frock?

A damson in this dress.

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he and his friends decided to dress up as famous composers for Halloween?

I'll be Bach

Honey Jokes More Honey Jokes

Where do American bees store their honey?

In a USBee hive. Thank my ten year old for that one.

Why did the bees go on strike ?

Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers !

Kermits Finger Jokes More Kermits Finger Jokes

What's slimy, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermits finger.

What smells like pork?

Kermits finger