What do you have when you have two small, green balls in your hand?

Kermit's undivided

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why should you never trust a one armed philosophy professor?

He never mentions "on the other hand"

What has two feet, two hands, two eyes, and two noses?

Two pirates.

Kermit Jokes More Kermit Jokes

What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?

Nothing.

How do frogs die?

They kermit sucide