What has two feet, two hands, two eyes, and two noses?

Two pirates.

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Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

Why couldn't the pirate use the bubblegum vending machine?

Because there is no quarter for the wicked.

What does a pirate with back spasms say?

Shiver me lumbars.

Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

Why is this?

B: It's because your feet aren't empty.

What is the difference between a podiatrist and Ginger Baker?

A podiatrist bucks up your feet.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why does Helen Keller play the piano with only one hand?

Because she uses the other one to sing.

Why are hot dogs the best dogs?

Because they feed the hand that bites them.

Nose Jokes More Nose Jokes

Why is Congress like a cold?

Because sometimes the ayes (eyes) have it and sometimes the no's (nose).

What did one nose say when the other nose said "I love you"?

Back achoo!"

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

How do government employees wink when they're at work?

They briefly open one eye.

What do you say when you catch a deer with no eyes?

I have no-eye-deer! (Unless you're a dad, you may need to sound it out)